SingleSuperDad.com

In The Ring With A True Champion

Former U.S. Olympian, Undefeated Professional Boxer and Now  SingleSuperDad of the Month!

Throughout an athlete’s career, most of the time they are so focused that most do not  think of anything outside their sport. It’s such a zone and high they breathe and live  for throughout their days as a competitor. They believe the victories, the success, the rigorous hours of training and the spirit of being a winner are all worth the sacrifice.

All their love and dedication is towards that one big dream in their sport. With Roberto Benitez it’s more than just a dream, it’s the Legacy he wishes to leave behind on what he represents as a human being.

A Personal Message From Roberto Benitez:

As I was beginning to mature into a young adult, being a father was something that  did cross my mind. I always wondered what it would be like to be a Father? How  would I handle that situation if I’m still competing on a high level? Will my life  change for the better, or for the worse? Only that true experience can answer a  man’s questions.

 When I first became a father to a precious daughter in December of 2000, it was a  reality check - more responsibilities on the plate now. Even though I have always  been a man of responsibility I felt a bit intimidated. But one thing I did know was  that I would be a great father. I was aware of this because I loved kids, and I never forgot how my parents raised me. So I knew what it took to raise a child in today’s world.

One of the important factors for a guy in my shoes, in being able to have an easier time raising a child, is having a strong support system, like my family. The first 4 yrs of my life as a dad was a bit difficult considering I was away at college on an Athletic Olympic sponsorship that I received from the United States Olympic Education Center at Marquette, MI, where I was training towards the dream of competing at the Olympic games. Athletes have to make many sacrifices in order to advance in their careers to be able to provide a better life for themselves and their families. My sacrifices consisted of me being away from my family and daughter in order to take full advantage of the opportunity to advance my life. Doing so would allow me to become a better fighter and allow me to advance in my career. This of course will give me the opportunity to make more money and support my daughter and myself.

What many people do not know is that when you are at the top of your game, there is a lot of training and traveling involved. This is what makes it difficult to even be able to live 24/7 with your child. I would have to take time to see my daughter either on vacation breaks or when I would make trips on my own.

Of course if it was up to me I would love to have my daughter living with me all of the time, but she did not live in the same state as me. I had my daughter out of wedlock, which is a difficult situation especially if you and the mother do not have a healthy relationship.

 Ever since the 2004 Olympic Games and turning professional in my sport, I’ve now  become a full-time dad and athlete. I had to endure the battle of securing custody  while I was training and in the process of pursuing a professional career. This was  such an emotional challenge for me due to the circumstances I had to deal with  such as not having funds since I no loner was an Amateur Boxer competing, the  mother of my child was neglecting me from seeing my daughter and traveling to  other states, and for the first time in my life I put something else before my sport-  the first time something else was more important. Throughout my life all I ever  thought about was boxing, boxing, boxing!! At the age of 24 I began to realize  there is much more to boxing when I saw that I had so much love for something  else besides the sport.

My daughter gave me something to live for beyond my sport and that was a major change in my life. Throughout the process of pursuing custody for my little girl I felt God blessed me with a great woman in my life at the right time, which is my girlfriend, Mellisa. Thanks to her efforts and support she helped me really pursue and investigate this custody of my daughter that lasted nearly 3 yrs.  She was the one who convinced me to go ahead and invest the last little bit of money I had and to give it my all.  I then began to think, “I need to go all the way and have no regrets if I am fighting for my little girl - I love this little girl so much!” I knew I did not want any regrets later.  

 There was a time that I had no more money – I was broke. I had just fought a match  and had to use almost my entire paycheck if I wanted to continue to pursue this  case.  This occurred during a time where I had bills racking up, and no guarantees  of when I would compete again. I was already in debt. But one of the last options I  had, and most important strategies, was to hire a family evaluator, who’s  recommendation the judge follows on who should be the sole custodian. I would  be ordered to pay this evaluator’s flight, accommodations and fees, which was  really expensive for me. With my girlfriend’s influence I went along and invested in  this last final step.

 After what was nearly a three-year fight the day finally arrived. The day I would find  out if my daughter would come home with me for good. The decision was in. With our consistency and investigations I was granted custody of my little girl. This experience is one I will never forget in my lifetime. A time when many people would think I did not have a chance, including at one point myself. It came to show me never give up on your goals or dreams especially if you have a passion for it.

There are so many fathers who become abused and prevented from having a healthy relationship with their kids due to their spouse’s actions. Most decide to give up and just pay child support, and some refuse to pay it due to the way the mother of the child has abused them. I advise all of those fathers to fight hard for your rights and have pride and stand your ground. The first step is to go through the court system and demand your rights.

Since becoming a custodial father, I’ve now seen the change in myself because I now live for a child and provide more time to them than just thinking about myself all the time. It’s amazing how much of an impact a child can make on your life and the motivation it stirs inside of you. I now realize the importance of living a balanced life. Because I use every second of my day productively scheduling what hours are best for my training and times I can involve with my daughter when she is out of school.

It’s something that has matured me and I like to set examples and boundaries when working on accomplishing things in my life. I wanted to prove that dads can be just as good at raising a child as moms. I think this comes from hearing all of the stereotypical comments throughout my life, from everyday people, that all single fathers are “deadbeat dads.” They’re not!

As I got use to my schedule with boxing and being a dad, I realized that not much is different, if I schedule and balance things out. On top of that, I involved my daughter in some projects that I take part in, which influences her.

__________________

SingleSuperDad.com went on to ask Benitez a few questions on how a professional athlete K-O’s being a single father.

Q&A

What drives you to be a SingleSuperDad?

Fatherhood is such an adventure. I never wanted to be a statistic of the ever-growing problem of “absentee fathers” out there. It seems as if it’s become acceptable to not be a part of your child’s life as long as you meet a financial responsibility. To me that simply isn’t fatherhood.

What drives me to be a great dad is seeing the positive results from the impact I have on my daughter’s life, which is the greatest reward. The result of nurturing is an amazing thing for me. I feel that a father’s relationship with his daughter can be the primary predictor in the success of her marriage and relationships with men prior to marriage.  On the other hand, for a young boy, if there is no father to model proper behavior for them, I feel they will never learn what it means to be a man or a father. Fortunately for me my dad was a great man to my mom, to my sisters and to me. His positive impact on our lives gave us the strength to become the people we are today.

I never forget all the good traits my dad raised me with, I want to leave a legacy in my daughter’s life, one that she can pass on to her kids one day.

What are some keys things you focus on with your daughter?

I always remind my daughter that she is my NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. I feel this makes it easier for a child to understand the times when you’re not around or like my situation where I must be away from time to time for training and competition. I also work hard to live a life that is consistent with what I am teaching her. It is important to teach kids things that endure such as faith, hope and love, with love being the greatest of them all.

My mom and dad were such great parents who I admired on how they raised me.  All the lessons and values they taught me made a difference in my life. So, I find it only right that I must meet or exceed the same level of parenting they did with me when I was a child.

I get excited knowing how well all the lessons I instill in my daughter today will impact her tomorrow. We all want our kids to be successful in life and to be well-respected citizens. It’s the greatest feeling to hear people tell your child or say to you, “Your dad/parents did a great job with you.”

Tell us some of your intentions when parenting?

The approach I take is that I not only want to impact dads but I want to be capable of even influencing single moms. In my sport we never stop learning no matter how many years of experience you have. Sometimes you can even learn from the youngest person in the room. This is how we all develop as good human beings. I try to adopt parenting tools I remember from powerful women in my life such as my mom, grandmother and other moms I come across and instill those lessons in my daughter. Life is all about using good information and incorporating them into your mission to develop great things.

Any example that I can set for men and women makes me proud. Sometimes a mother may have an approach towards her child that is not working. Now take that same situation with a father and he may have a different approach that ends up being a solution to the problem. This is an example of how dads can also be an influence to moms and vice versa. In life we need to think outside the proverbial box.

How do you feel about the children that grow up without good parental guidance?

I get really sad for those kids out there who may not have both parents or neither in their lives. There are kids out there that grow up without their parents, which is sad. I know many stories of those who ended up being stuck in poverty and then taking the wrong road to life. I also know many stories of kids in those situations who ended up being successful people in our communities.

The ones who end up succeeding make me proud because I am sure they had some good guidance from a good mom or dad somewhere back up the road. It’s a difficult world these days and it’s important to be as much involved in any child’s life. The love you give to a child is priceless, and that has a tremendous effect on their outlook on life. Many of these children end up missing an important part of the emotional stimulation they need, which is the part they can only get from their dad or mom.

What advice would you give to other dads about how they should treat the mother of their child(ren)?

I feel it’s very important to demonstrate to your kids the value of treating women with respect. Your young daughter or son will see your actions and learn from you on how you as a dad show respect and treat others in your life. This is something very important to be aware of as they grow up learning from you, the parent.

What are some of your challenges today in raising your daughter?

One of the hardest challenges is that you are in a battle with what’s being promoted in our society and on television. These are things that our kids have no control over but we as parents do. My advice is to take control of what they are exposed to.

I believe in having some form of Intervention in kids lives because handing them over to a television set or not being as involved in their lives will lead to a dysfunctional life cycle.

This is why I try as much as possible to incorporate extracurricular activities into my daughter’s life that will open up her mind and allow her to build her self-esteem and self-confidence, while at the same time allowing her to learn more about herself.  To me it’s all about her discovering “her” soul.  Which is why I highly promote sports, arts, and games as a way for kids to develop healthfully. I know how much it helped me growing up, because I never felt confident when I was a kid. But once I realized what my hard work could produce for me, I learned I was a true champion.

My main challenge is to be sure my daughter is programmed with discipline, hard work ethics, respect, believing, dreaming and keeping God in her life. These are just a few of the things that I feel she can take with her so if she is one day out there in the world alone she can still manage to be successful.

How do you handle your busy schedule and at the same time be involved with your daughter’s life?

I believe the important thing for a dad is to schedule and balance out his life.  There are 24 hrs in a day. As a father I need to strategize what are my best hours to take care of the important things I do for myself, and what are the valuable hours I need with my daughter. So multi-tasking is a must.

Roberto Benitez Notable Boxing Accomplishments:

* Undefeated Professional Super bantamweight boxer (6-0, 3 KOs)

* 2004 U.S. Olympian

* 10-time National Champion

* Two-time National Golden Gloves champion

* Four-time Everlast U.S. Champion (5th-ever in History to achieve this title)

* 1998 Goodwill Games – Silver Medalist

www.RobertoBenitezonline.com

Even at a young age, Roberto Benitez always knew he believed in something.  In himself.  In doing things the right way.  In the virtues of hard work.

Growing up in the Jacob Riis housing projects of New York City’s Lower East Side (better known as “Alphabet City”), Benitez experienced firsthand the intense challenges of poverty. Often, these struggles teach many youth to believe in a life of crime and despair, but Roberto learned to believe in himself. Though tested by the temptations of the streets, Roberto never gave in.

With the encouragement of his parents in response to the threat of neighborhood bullies and as an escape from the negative influences of running the streets, Roberto’s journey to manhood led him to the Harriman Clubhouse, a New York City Boys’ Club at the age of Ten. Roberto never looked back.

The Boys Club turned out to be a turning point in Roberto’s young life.  In Benitez, his early trainers found the rare combination of a boxing prodigy and a fighter with a tremendous work ethic. Blessed with God-given talent and a willingness to learn, Benitez quickly learned how to throw devastating combinations

"In my early childhood years, I was a hard worker who was dedicated. Boxing kept me disciplined than I ever thought I could be. I wasn't caught up trying to do the negatives in the streets, and having a strict caring coach gave me another avenue that had my attention 100%."

He is no stranger to accomplishment and virtue. He built himself a stellar amateur career that spanned 13 years and awarded him with numerous titles and Championships along the way.  He has competed in Europe, Caribbean, UK and the Americas. His amateur history reads like a blueprint for victory and a guaranteed playbook for success.

Roberto accomplished several relevant things in the amateurs and was a 2004 Olympian for the U.S., while earlier in his career he maintained a professionalism and commitment to excel that propelled him to this Olympic status. He was a two time National Golden Gloves Champion (1997, 1999), and became a four time U.S. Championships National Champion during his successful run as an amateur. Roberto also has the rare and honorable distinction of being the fifth person in history to win four U.S. Everlast National Championships. His undertakings during his career have been nothing short of amazing and he also was the 1998 Goodwill Games Silver Medalist and the 1996 Junior Olympics International Champion.

With such a strong amateur pedigree behind him, Roberto Benitez now wants to make his way through the professional ranks. Benitez victoriously made his pro debut on ESPN2's “Friday Night Fights”, and it appears that the sky is the limit for this rising young star who wants to stake his claim in the ring.

Roberto's sights just aren't set on the Super Bantamweight division alone; outside of the ring he is a capable businessman who is the President of his own Corporation, Team Benitez.  Benitez knows the importance of a well-balanced life.

During his storybook career, Roberto was a member of the United States Olympic Education Center’s boxing scholarship program where he attained a Business Degree from Northern Michigan University.  While at NMU, Roberto had the opportunity to train with some of the most elite boxers in the world under the direction of Legendary 1996 US Olympic head coach, Al Mitchell.